Chuck Norris got a multikill with one throwing knife
Chuck Norris has already been to mars; thats why there are no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
God can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isnt nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasnt stopped spinning.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can run you over with a parked car.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night!
When Chuck Norris was born he slapped the doctor to test his reflexes.
Chuck Norris can kill two rocks with one bird.
We all dream about Perfection.... Perfection dreams about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer (Cant touch this guy if you didnt know)
Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever!
Chuck Norris can speak Russian... in Chinese!
Chuck Norris knows the last number of pi.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No
one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Chuck Norris can punch you in the back of the face.